I am extremely saddened by the death of Bob Probert.

Here it is a few hours after the announcement of his passing, and I find myself reminiscing about past experiences.

He was a friend.  Well – as good a friend as you can be with a guy who lives 3 ½ hours away and who I would see 2-3 times a year.

We met when I brought him into Frozen Pond for an autograph session in 2006.  He was a good guy – I liked him. He asked me for an autographed photo of Alex Ovechkin’s “goal” against Phoenix and left without taking it.  I told him I would hold onto it for him.

He would talk openly about anything – drugs, alcohol, his problems with the law.  His wife, his kids, his newfound sobriety.

He told me he had just built a bar in his basement.  I asked him if it was an Evian bar, a juice bar, a soft drink bar?  “Well – mostly sober”, was his response.

He once signed autographs for me in a parking lot.  On a garbage can.  In the rain, partially covered by the overhang of a pavilion.

He was terrible at returning phone calls.  I mean – really, really bad.  His wife Dani often acted as the conduit of information between us.  Once Bryan Trottier even acted as the medium.

He was the first person eliminated in last season’s Battle of the Blades.  He was terrible.  He had about as much rhythm as I do.

He toured recently with the Legends of Hockey, and had to drive right past us to get to an event in Barrie.  I called and told him he was due for a visit.  I really just wanted to get rid of that freakin’ Ovechkin photo already.  It had been on my desk for almost four years.

He came in and confirmed the helmet we owned from the movie “The Love Guru” was in fact his.  He even posed for a nice picture with it. 

He scored the last NHL goal at Maple Leaf Gardens, and autographed pucks commemorating that event were excellent sellers.  We did not have any pucks in stock at the time, so he promised he would be back soon to sign some for us.

That’s not going to happen now. 

We’re going to miss you Probie.  This was one fight he was never given a chance to win.  Now the pearly gates have a new enforcer.  I wouldn’t try to sneak in, unless you want to get pummeled. 

As per our corporate policy, we do not take advantage of tragedy. All in-stock Bob Probert autographed memorabilia will be sold at regular price. All orders that have been placed over the past twenty-four hours will be filled, as per availability.  

Some Olympic stories from our recent autograph signing with Bruins star Patrice Bergeron. 

Bergie’s roommates in Vancouver were Sidney Crosby and Shea Weber, his 2005 World Junior teammates.  Each Canadian player was given up to 6 tickets per game, but requests had to be made by mid-January.  The players had to buy their own souvenirs.  Luckily there was a store set up in the Athletes’ Village, so the players did not have to spend four hours in line like most consumers.  While their daytime itineraries were pretty full with practices, meetings, and video sessions, the players were able to spend a lot of time with friends and family, usually after games.  Since Team Canada games started at 5:00 p.m. local time, games were finished before 8:00 which allowed for plenty of down time. 

After the gold medal game, Bergie said most players partied at Molson Canadian Hockey House for a while, before dispersing to do their own things.  He was up all night and got no sleep before he boarded a plane the next morning. 

Jonas Gustavsson told me that he received so much swag (t-shirts, caps, etc.) as a member of the Swedish Olympic team; he couldn’t carry it all home.  So he left a duffle bag full of goodies in his room when he checked out of the village.  AAARRRGGGHHH!!!  I lectured him that if a similar situation should ever arrive, to call me and I will send a personal valet to help him carry his items.  I love that kind of stuff, and can’t believe it went to waste.  How cool would it be to have an actual Team Sweden Olympic track suit or the like?

I told Patrik Elias this story, and he told me he did the exact same thing.  Elias bought so many souvenirs for people that he had to leave a pile of his Team Czech Republic goodies behind due to lack of space in his luggage.  I’m thinking whoever was responsible for cleaning out those rooms made out like bandits.

I learned that as a bowler, the aforementioned Gustavsson is a pretty good hockey goalie.  I was privileged to watch The Monster take on teammate Fredrik Sjostrom in a friendly post-season bowling match while they were stranded in Toronto awaiting the volcanic dust to clear over Europe.  Sjostrom beat Gustavsson by the menial score of 89-83.  Jonas told me he was just warming up, and I commented that was a good thing, since I didn’t think he could score any worse.

The 2010 Boston Marathon was won by Robert Kiprono Cheruiyot in a course record time of 2:05.52, breaking the previous record of 2:07.14 set by Kenya’s Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot in 2006.  Believe it or not, the two men are not related.  Wouldn’t that be akin to Wayne Gretzky’s scoring records being broken by another man from Brantford named Wayne Gretzky?

An oldie but a goodie – Clark, the Canadian Hockey Goalie.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdf4GeT4ELA

Hopefully everyone has received Frozen Pond’s spring mailing over the past few weeks.  We are offering the largest selection of 2010 Team Canada Olympic signed items available anywhere, and these items are HOT!!!  For those yet to receive a hard copy, a digital version is available at http://www.frozenpond.com/download/fp_spring2010.pdf.

A hearty “Mazel Tov” to our friend Vinnie Lecavalier on the birth of his first child.  Victoria Lecavalier was born May 3 and checked in at 6 pounds, 12 ounces.  She will be eligible for the NHL Draft in 2028.

Speaking of Vinnie, please enjoy this story about Frozen Pond friend Hayden Allison’s recent encounter with his favorite player.

A Bobby Orr rookie game-worn jersey recent sold at auction for the astounding price of $191,200 U.S. How long until a Sidney Crosby jersey surpasses this amount?

There are a lot of rumors circulating about the short term viability of Upper Deck.  The company that once dominated the sports card industry is now fighting for its survival.  They lost their license from Major League Baseball in 2009, but continued to produce cards regardless.  This resulted in a lawsuit that cost UD over $2.4 million in settlement fees.

This came on the heels of another settlement with Konami, where UD admitted they stole intellectual property by fraudulently manufacturing and distributing Yu-Gi-Oh cards without a license.  That settlement was also rumoured to be well into seven-figures.

Upper Deck also lost their basketball and football trading card licenses, as well as their exclusivity to produce NHL hockey cards.  This has left the company with only a fraction of their previous revenue streams.  Players are complaining about not getting paid for autographs signed, and the MLBPA went so far as to “strongly advise” players not to return any signed cards to UD until payments were brought up to date.  The union also recommended against signing any new agreements with the company.

The above happenings coupled with the fact that UD laid off a good percentage of their staff makes you wonder how long they can continue to operate.  Established in 1989, Upper Deck helped revolutionize the trading card industry and became the most powerful player in the history of the sports collectibles hobby.  But some bad decision making and rumors of inappropriate business dealings has haunted them in recent years.  Look for Panini America to take over as the new company of choice for hobbyists.

Panani did make a brilliant move by hiring Al Muir as their hockey brand manager.  The former editor of Beckett Hockey Magazine has kept a low profile since being unceremoniously let go almost two years ago.  Muir has been in the industry as long as anyone and is extremely knowledgeable of the marketplace.  I’m expecting great things from this company.

The NHL Alumni took all the sticks from an end-of-season Leafs game and auctioned them off to raise money for their internal charities.  I love examining results such as these, because they are a near-exemplary “apples to apples” comparison of player popularity.  Here are the results:

Beauchemin - $300
Bozak - $151

Caputi - $110

Exelby - $132

Giguere - $215

Grabovski - $211

Gunnarsson - $142

Gustavsson - $721

Hanson - $142

Kaberle - $210

Kessel - $253

Komisarek - $142 (game-issued)

Kulemin - $170

Mitchell - $110

Orr - $120

Phaneuf - $1050 (plus helmet)

Schenn - $170

Stalberg - $130

Wallin - $100

Not counting Phaneuf, whose selling price was skewed due to the inclusion of a helmet, is it surprising that Jonas “The Monster” Gustavsson’s stick sold for almost 2.5X as much as the next popular Leaf?  Not to me.

This one is rated PG13, but had to be included here since it involves two of my favorite things – Hank Azaria and baseball.  It is also unbelievably hilarious.

http://www.funnyordie.com/hank_azaria

It’s nothing to do with anything, but I really like this song - Fireflies, by Owl City.  Not a huge fan of the video though. (I think this blog has set an all-time record for number of included links.)

The weekend of August 7-9 was very special to baseball fans in Toronto, as members of the 1992 and 1993 World Series Champion Toronto Blue Jays reunited for a number of events to raise money for the Children’s Aid and Jays Care Foundations.  I was thrilled and honored to be a part of it, as these may be the only Toronto sports teams to win a championship in my lifetime.  J

This was the first time these players had been reunited since the 1992 and 1993 seasons.  For many of them, it was their first visit to Toronto since the mid-90’s and the first time they had seen their former teammates in over a decade.

The Friday was spent getting 38 players to each autograph almost 300 pieces that were to be given to sponsors and donors, with the remainder sold off to raise money for the worthy causes.  Jimmy Key arrived at the hotel meeting room shortly before 8:00 a.m.  He wanted to get this done early as he had a fun day planned for his family.  Key was surprisingly quiet, but extremely accommodating.  The strange thing was that he signs his autographs with his right hand.  While well-known as one of the top left-handed pitchers in Blue Jays history (not to mention a no-hitter for the Yankees), Key does everything else right handed.

Apparently you do always have to watch out for the quiet ones, as Key was known as the prankster of the clubhouse.  Duane Ward told me how he once found his cleats nailed into the floor, with Key being the guilty party.

A short time later, the room was a zoo.  There were as many as twelve players signing at a time, accompanied by fifteen Frozen Pond staff, friends, and volunteers.  The biggest problem was that I didn’t recognize anyone.  These guys have definitely changed over the years.  I felt myself embarrassed to ask who players were. 

Joe Carter was an early signer.  He spearheaded the efforts to put this reunion together and deserves much of the credit for an extremely successful weekend.  Carter is still the most popular of all Blue Jays autograph guests, both locally and within the hobby in general.  

Candy Maldonado was extremely personable and funny.  With English not being their primary language, most Latin Americans are somewhat introverted and reserved.  Candy was the exact opposite.  The fact that he calls games for Spanish television probably has a lot to do with his bubbly demeanor. 

Where was Dave Stieb’s moustache?  The top pitcher in Jays history was as well known for his facial hair as for throwing the only no-hitter in team history (not to mention two other no-hitters and one perfect game broken up with two outs in the ninth).  Stieb was a great guest and definitely deserved his World Series ring.  But what was with that unnecessary comeback at the age of 40?  Both Stieb and Pat Tabler were upset that I took pictures of them wearing glasses, so I promised them both that neither photo would be published.

Woody Williams only retired from baseball last year and still looks like he could pitch today.  It bothers me that some of these guys are still roughly the same age or younger than me. 

Part-way through the morning, we had to take nine of the players a few blocks away to the TD BBQ; another of the sponsored events for the weekend.  Little did we know that we would be greeted at the 45-minute autograph session by almost 1,500 people in line and over 5,000 fans in total.  Some good money was raised for Children’s Aid, but a lot of people went away upset over their inability to obtain autographs.  One person actually brought his unused ticket into Frozen Pond the next day and asked for a refund.  Uh – sir.  That says TD BBQ on it, not Frozen Pond BBQ. 

Back to the hotel, and the place was a madhouse.  While all players had been given a designated time to sign, they pretty well just ignored their itinerary and showed up whenever they wanted.  So our well planned, evenly spaced autograph sessions turned into overcrowded rooms followed by needless periods of down time.  Major League Baseball was conducting interviews with all the players in the room next door, and several of the player’s friends and family members sat in on the festivities.  There was a lot going on.

Roberto Alomar was accompanied by his gorgeous wife, Maria.  I have always liked Robbie and feel he gets a bad rap in the press.  We have worked together previously and I find him to be extremely easy going and personable.  He is eligible for Hall of Fame induction next year and I would love to see him get in on the first ballot.

I was one of the million-plus people parading up Yonge Street after the Jays ’92 Series victory.  Co-incidentally, so was Rob Butler.  The local boy was celebrating with the rest of us in ’92, and in ’93 he was actually part of the team.  That’s a great story.  Butler finished his career with a .500 batting average in the World Series (1 for 2).

It was nice to see Pat Borders.  He and I hit the road a couple of times in 1993, appearing at Shopping Malls across southern Ontario to sign autographs.  He would draw 800-1,000 people each time and a ton of money would be made.  Ahhh – the good old days.  I had not seen or heard from Pat in over fifteen years, and today he is pretty much a recluse.  He lives in northern Florida, his eighth child is due next month, no one has his phone number, and he has no interest in reliving his past.  He is still a great guy though, and he definitely enjoyed rekindling some old friendships, especially with Todd Stottlemyre.

Numerous players told me that Danny Cox is the funniest guy you will ever meet and sometimes their sides would hurt from laughing so loud.  He also looks a lot like “East Bound and Down’s” Kenny Powers.

Dave Stewart taught me that his evil stare down was nothing but an act, as the guy could not have been any friendlier.  Stewart was the Jays Assistant GM for a while and is now a player agent.  He was the 1989 World Series MVP while a member of Oakland.

Alfredo Griffin is the first base coach for the Los Angeles Angels.  If the reunion had been two weeks later, he would not even have had to make a special trip into Toronto.  He told me that Damaso Garcia, my childhood favorite, is still fighting a brain tumor and is an “extremely strong individual”.  He did not make it sound like “Damo” had a lot of time left with us.

I will not comment on Kelly Gruber.

Tom Henke is extremely tall (they all are to me) and still has that down-home southern drawl that made him such a “regular guy” fan favorite during his time here.  I’m telling you, most of these guys were so nice that they could be classified as hockey players.

Dave Winfield works for ESPN and was basically in and out.  He signed a handful of pieces for the corporate sponsors, but his exclusivity contract with a U.S. company prevented him from affixing his signature to all the team-autographed product.  We did manage to sneak a few in though.

We tried to bring all the players in to Frozen Pond for public autograph sessions over the course of the weekend, but busy schedules and early-Sunday flights prevented a number of them from participating.  Some of these players’ signatures are in extremely high demand by Jays collectors because they are seldom seen in this neck of the woods.  Guys like Manny Lee, Mark Eichhorn, and Al Leiter would have drawn large crowds if they were able to stick around.

By about 4:00 p.m., the only player that had not signed all the merchandise was David Cone.  I had seen him at the BBQ earlier in the day, but he did not make his way into the hotel meeting room and no one was able to find him.  It turns out that he had a migraine and was out like a light all afternoon.  It’s too bad, because his is another high demand signature for Jays fans.  A perfect game and a Cy Young Award have obviously helped contribute to his popularity.

By the time the day was finished, almost 12,000 autographs had been signed. 

Randy Knorr was originally scheduled to attend, but an illness in his family prevented his participation.  Darnell Coles had to cancel when the Washington Nationals had coaching duties for him, and Mike Timlin was a last-minute scratch when the Colorado Rockies talked him out of retirement and signed him to a minor league deal.

Rickey Henderson was being honored by the Padres the same weekend, and David Wells had much earlier booked an African safari with his family.  Derek Bell was unable to attend as he is either in jail on possession charges or in rehab, depending on the source.

The Jays were honored on field at the Rogers Centre that night, and it would have been really great if more than 30,000 fans had decided to attend.  Back in the glory days, there were 51,000 plus people at EVERY game, as the Jays became the first team ever to draw more than 4 million fans in a season.  I watched the game with the players from a very large, fully catered private suite, which was a really cool experience.

The next morning, we had WAMCO (White, Alomar, Molitor, Carter, Olerud) in the store for a public autograph session.  The place was a mad house.  Collectors came from all over North America to attend, the first getting in line at 4:00 a.m.  I’m just angry that we did not have more time, since I would have loved to get a couple hundred pieces done for ourselves.  Since it was a charity event, the players were appearing for a fraction of their normal appearance fees, and our efforts were entirely donated.  Needless to say, a lot of money was raised on this morning.

John Olerud was easily the player most in demand.  The 1993 batting champion made one appearance at a Jays game in 2006, but aside from that has rarely been back to visit.  Olerud was always known for being one of the quietest and friendliest baseball players you could ever meet, and he did not disappoint.  He is also ridiculously tall and I truly enjoyed his company.  Olerud has a special needs daughter (as does Henke) and spends much of his time raising money for various charitable causes that target special needs children.  You don’t wish something like this on anyone, but John and wife Kelly feel blessed that their daughter Jordan has given them a unique opportunity to give back to others through the foundation they created in her name.

From WAMCO, we were off to the Gala Dinner, where another $45,000 was raised through the Live and Silent Auctions and the raffle.  It was a great night filled with video clips, interviews, and trips down memory lane.

Sunday morning had us at a hotel ballroom near the airport, where 11 more players were poised to take part in public autograph sessions.  Ed Sprague had originally refused this appearance, but then changed his mind six days earlier and was added to the list.  He ended up being our top-seller.  I had no idea how much demand there was for Ed Sprague signatures.

Pat Hentgen, the 1996 Cy Young winner, said that miscommunication was the reason he was not originally scheduled to appear.  He told me a day earlier that he would be driving Dave Stieb to the hotel for his autograph appearance, as they were going fishing immediately thereafter.  Since he was going to be there anyways, we may as well include him in the lineup.  I let Pat know that it was too late to include him in any ads and that we didn’t have any merchandise of him available, but he said he didn’t care and hopefully he could help raise a little money for the charities.

I was shocked when he ended up taking in over $1,000.  I asked him to imagine how well he could have done with 48 hours notice.

Duane Ward turned out to be the anti-Key.  Ward was a fire-balling righty, who signs autographs and does everything else with his left hand.  He said Dale Murphy was the same way, but what are the chances of having two of these guys on the same team?  Who writes with one hand and throws with the other?  Ward is an extremely knowledgeable baseball guy who would love to be a TV or radio analyst for the Jays one day.

In fact, most of the players would love jobs with the Jays.  Paul Beeston (the only guy ever to conduct an autograph session with an unlit cigar dangling from his mouth the entire time) estimated that at least twenty players would ask him about employment over the weekend, with Alomar perhaps being the most public one.  While these guys do not need the money (with a few notable exceptions), they all miss the camaraderie and really want to be part of a team again.  These were the most spoken words in interviews over the weekend; that they all miss the team concept.  These players spent more time with each other than they did with their wives and families, and constant winning made showing up for work every day a ton of fun.  They would love to be invited to Spring Training as guest instructors, even for nominal pay.  They live for Fantasy Camps and wish these reunions could be a regular event.

The Sunday concluded with Shopping Channel appearances featuring Rob Butler, Duane Ward, and myself.  A lot of money was raised through these shows.  The team-signed merchandise actually turned out quite well.  We had developed a lithograph to get signed, but the Blue Jays rejected it and came up with one of their own.  I still like ours better, but it would not have signed nearly as well.  We still have some multi-signed product available for sale (shameless plug), but I really wish we had done a whole lot more.  This was truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

The weekend would have to be construed as an unqualified success. Huge crowds greeted the players at all public appearances and most everyone went away happy.  The players were thrilled, the sponsors were thrilled, and the fans were given a special treat.  Hopefully a similar event will happen in the near future.

We arrived at the 20^th Century Fox Studio lot shortly before 9:30 a.m.  Myself, my friend Jack, and my nephews Max and Eric.  Thursday, July 16^th was a day we had been waiting for.  We were going to meet The Simpsons.

I had won a charity auction in May.  The philanthropic Hank Azaria had donated the opportunity to sit in on a Simpsons script reading and then go for lunch with himself and Yeardley Smith.  There was no way I was going to miss this chance and my winning bid was much less than I was willing to pay.

But now the day had arrived.  The Fox lot is so large it has its own streets and you are given a map upon entering.  We parked in our pre-assigned space and were met by a production assistant who gave us a quick tour of the facility.  We saw the exterior sets for House, Bones, and How I Met Your Mother.  The same sets were used as far back as Hello Dolly and more recently, NYPD Blue.  But we didn’t really care about this stuff; we wanted to meet Homer.

A short time later we were taken into a room with a long, thin wooden table surrounded by chairs.  More chairs lined the walls and were two deep in places.  This is the same room where all but one of the 458 table reads had taken place since The Simpsons premiered in December/1989.  

We were each given a copy of that day’s script, titled The Bob Next Door, and told to feel free to meet the cast and get autographs.  For the first time in modern history, I turned into an autograph hound.  It felt like Exhibition Stadium in 1983 and I was waiting in the parking lot for Damaso Garcia and Jim Gott to sign my cards.  But this was much more important, and much more satisfying.

I went up to Julie Kavner (Marge) and had to explain to her that my name is not short for “Herschel”, which happens to be Krusty the Clown’s first name.  I told Nancy Cartwright (Bart) how I had front row tickets for the Toronto appearance of her one-woman show.  I heard someone talking in a Milhouse voice and went up and introduced myself to Pamela Hayden.  And then, it happened.

My nephew Eric was reaching for a muffin at the catered affair when I leaned over and whispered to him, “Look to your left”.  There he was, in a strange blue hat.  It was Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer.  I told him he had brought us years of enjoyment and it was a thrill to meet him.  I can’t believe how geeky that sounds.  I have seen so many people unnecessarily fawn and gush over hockey players; it was strange to be on the other side of the table for once.  I even got him to do a “D-oh” for me.

Hank Azaria eventually arrived and greeted me with “I hear you’re my guy.”  Indeed I was, and I told him I was looking forward to our meal.

The script read was organized and quick.  You would think they had done this before.  All the producers, writers, cast members, and production assistants were present.  Everyone knew their cues and read their lines in character.  It was hilarious to see and an honor to be a part of.  We happened to luck into a Sideshow Bob episode.  Paul Reiser and his family were in attendance, viewing the reading just as we were.  Yeardley Smith had an audition and was not present.  Kelsey Grammar’s lines were read by a sound-alike.  The purpose of this undertaking is for the writers to hear their dialogue read aloud to see if the story worked and if jokes were funny.  They were then to gather and make necessary changes to the script.  Azaria told me that a bad read would result in a 50% rewrite, but this one would probably only have about 20% changed.  We thought it was great as is.   

At the conclusion of the read, I finished getting my script signed.  Creator Matt Groening sketched a Homer caricature along with his signature and told me that all the characters with big eyes were his creations, while most others were conceived by other animators.  Harry Shearer scribbled a quick signature and Tress MacNeille happily added a “Vocally yours” inscription.

Lunch with Azaria was nothing short of amazing.  He offered to take us to a real restaurant, but I was happy settling for “Moe’s Café” on the studio lot.  The guy is down to earth and cool and has enough stories to keep you occupied for months.  He is also one of the funniest people on the planet.  I told him that when you’re born with the initials “HA” you kind of have to be funny, and the four-time Emmy winner said it was a lot of pressure to be under.  Azaria was born in Queens in 1964 and is currently competing with the Red Sox’ Kevin Youkilis for the title of the world’s most famous Greek Jew.

His life-altering career opportunity happened by chance.  Another voice actor had recorded the voice of Moe the Bartender in several previous episodes, but the producers were unhappy with the results.  Someone remembered Azaria from an obscure audition and he was given the opportunity to read for the role.  Groening loved him so much he took him directly into the studio and had him record the lines right then.  Azaria said he was literally given $400 on the spot, but did not know if he would ever be needed again.    Twenty-one years later, he is still at it.

Recording episodes has become so easy for these guys that an average work week is no more than six-hours long.  Azaria didn’t even look at his script until earlier that morning, but had his parts mastered almost instantaneously.  The read through took less than half an hour and schmoozing took another twenty minutes.  On Mondays, they record as a group from 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.  Occasionally, Hank is asked to come back and re-record a line, but that takes no longer than a few minutes.  He has even recorded his lines (through an ISDN line) while filming a movie or vacationing in Europe.  It is that easy.  Azaria now voices over twenty different characters, including Apu, Chief Wiggum, Dr. Nick, Professor Frink, Disco Stu, and Comic Book Guy.

The key voice actors started out making roughly $25,000 an episode, but that soon increased (via two actor’s strikes – well described in a 2007 Vanity Fair article) to $120,000, $350,000 (est.), and now almost $500,000 an episode.  I asked Hank if this cast were the best hourly paid employees in the business and he said they just might be.  He very humbly said it took about ten years for them to start making serious money, but they have been making “obscene” money for the past five.  He mentioned that the salaries are a little misleading, as they include syndication royalties and other revenue streams.  He says the studio likes to announce the higher (misleading) salary numbers in order to gain support should the actors choose to go on strike again. 

The short work week has afforded him the ability to simultaneously undertake multiple projects, allowing him the opportunity for recurring characters on Mad About You and Friends, as well as starring roles on Herman’s Head and Huff.  His movie resume isn’t too shabby either – Tuesdays With Morrie, Dodgeball, Along Came Polly, The Birdcage, Night at the Museum, and dozens of others.  I mentioned Mystery, Alaska, and he apologized for it (it was a bust at the box office), even though I told him it was a hockey movie and I had no choice but to love it.  He was surprised by my commendation.

Azaria said his favorite episode was probably the takeoff on Cape Fear and the most memorable character he has voiced would be Frank Grimes.  Surprisingly, Azaria is not the Simpsons aficionado you would think he would be.  Because he does not have to memorize his lines, they do not stick in his memory.  He also does not usually watch new episodes until 2-3 years later, when he has no recollection at all of the storyline.  He said he enjoys them better that way.

While most celebrity guest stars do not record with the cast, some have, and Azaria counts Aerosmith, Johnny Carson, Mick Jagger, and Elvis Costello amongst the most memorable.   I would imagine that doing an episode with then-wife Helen Hunt would have to register as well.  He said Bruce Springsteen once reneged on an appearance, and they tried to get Arnold Schwarzenegger so many times that they finally relented and gave Shearer the character of McBain.  Hank also enjoyed meeting Steve Sax and a number of the other baseball players in the classic “Homer at the Bat” episode.

Michael Jackson’s uncredited appearance in Season Three made for a great story.  His table read was the only one to take place offsite, with Jackson insisting it be done at his manager’s house.  Azaria said he was friendly but quiet, and didn’t interact much with the others.  Most surprisingly, Jackson had a sound-alike in his entourage, and the singing done in the episode (Lisa it’s your birthday, Ben, Billie Jean) was actually this other guy.  Michael Jackson is a singer, but he had someone sing for him while he did the voice work.  Azaria said Jackson was never known for doing things normally, so this should not be surprising.    

Azaria had his first child, Hal, in early June.  He was born nine weeks premature and Hank has been “living at the hospital” for most of the past seven weeks.  There was a good chance Hal would be able to come home this week.  It was nice seeing this side of  Azaria.  He talked about going out with Hunt for eight years, but it all falling apart after only one year of marriage.  He is very dedicated to “Determined to Succeed”, the charity he co-founded to provide educational support to low-income, inner city youth.  He collects Simpsons animation art of characters he voices, plays in a weekly poker game ($5/$10 no-limit) with other Hollywood celebrities, and is a huge Mets, Jets, and Knicks fan, with Walt Frazier being his childhood idol.

Unfortunately, he is not much of a hockey fan, and that is problematic for me.  I spoke to Hank at length about my desire to be on an episode of the show.  This has been the number one item on my “Bucket List” for a number of years.  He wouldn’t say no, but he did say the chances were remote.  He told me how Hayden Christenson approached him a number of years ago about wanting to be on the show, and Hank arranged a trade with him for a small part in Star Wars.  When Azaria first approached the writers, they had no desire to write a part for Christenson, saying the most recent Star Wars movie had “sucked”.  But he finally talked them into it and called Christenson with the news.  He has not heard back from him to this day.  He was stiffed by the man that would become Darth Vader.

I reasoned with Hank that I’m no Anakin Skywalker, but maybe I could introduce him to the athlete of his choice.  Heck – what do you give the guy that makes a half-million dollars an episode?  Hank said to leave it with him, but pointed out that he’s repeatedly asked the artists to create an animated version of himself, and he can’t even make that happen.  Hmmmm – maybe I should be trying to befriend the writers.   

Ninety-minutes after we sat down for lunch, it was all over.  Hank had been very generous with his time, but he had to get to the hospital.  He recorded a voicemail for my cell phone, gave me his own script from the reading, showed us to the studio gift shop, and off he went.  It was an amazing experience, one I will never forget.  Working with celebrities has been my profession for a number of years, but for a few hours I got to be a fan.  I had forgotten how enjoyable it can be.

Facts and observations you won’t find anywhere else.

Prior to Game 1 in Detroit I learned I had super powers.  A group of five of us, including Gordie and Mark Howe, were standing at ice level having a discussion when NHL commissioner Gary Bettman happened by.  Bettman stopped to shake the hands of Gordie and his friend Felix.  He then turned and shook the hands of Mark Howe and his friend, and then continued on his way.  I turned to Gordie and said, “Wow – I didn’t realize I had the power to turn invisible like that.”  Everyone laughed, but I had to promise to use my special power only for good and not evil.  I may soon be joining the cast of “Heroes”.  Bettman continues to walk with a bodyguard, even in the secure sections of NHL arenas.

The pre-game media meal the Wings put out for us scribes (or wannabe scribes in this case) is a great bargain for $5.  There is a full buffet consisting of salad bar, chicken, macaroni and cheese, potatoes, rice, vegetables, beef, and of course, an endless supply of Little Caesars pizza.  Beverages and desserts are also plentiful.  Even though the signs say that everyone except Red Wings management must pay the fee, head scout Mark Howe says he doesn’t get charged.  But Howe said the food in the wives’ lounge is even better.

Joe Louis Arena is so small that the Red Wings staff sit out and eat their pre-game meal with the rest of us.  A number of fold-up tables and bridge chairs are put out in the lower concourse, with the first two sporting hand-written placards reading “DRW”.  Ken Holland, Jimmy Devellano, and the rest of the Detroiters are treated no different than everyone else.

The arena is so tiny that Don Cherry was seen having his make-up put on in a car in the parking lot just outside of the media entrance.  They do not have a dedicated room inside the building for such frivolities.  Joe Louis only has two exit areas on the concourse level and probably has the least number of washrooms of any sporting venue on the planet, including your local neighborhood rink.  Once the Penguins move into their new arena in 2010, the “Joe” will be the oldest building in the NHL, not including the renovated Madison Square Garden.  The Wings could really use a new building, but that is obviously not going to happen until the local economy picks up – considerably.

I have never seen more neck tattoos than I did at Game One in Detroit.  That unusual observation aside, I still think Detroit has great fans.  The atmosphere in the building is always electric and the city really loves its team.  The fans are knowledgeable and friendly, more so than in Pittsburgh where I witnessed two different scuffles involving drunken Penguin fans harassing patrons in Wings jerseys.

When Octopi used to get thrown on the ice, their removal would involve maintenance crews coming out with a shovel and bucket.  Now, prepared staff members just skate over and scoop them up by hand.

Gordie Howe conducted the opening faceoff and had the puck in his jacket pocket at the conclusion of the game.  I tried to steal it but he grabbed it back. 

I wish every arena had a store like Hockeytown Authentics.  While their prices are often far from reasonable, at least they attempt to cater to memorabilia collectors.  Nicklas Lidstrom’s game-used skates were on sale for $400 and a strong selection of used gloves, pants, training camp and regular season jerseys were available.  A Scotty Bowman autograph on a cheesy Red Wings puck was on sale for $60, a far cry from the $45 Cdn that Frozen Pond charges (shameless plug). 

While walking to the games along the Detroit River, it’s interesting to see several people fishing off the walkway.  On my way back to the hotel after one game, I witnessed a Hibachi out while several people enjoyed that day’s bounty.  Downtown Detroit is still depressing at night.  Unlike most major urban metropolis’ that have a bustling nightlife, Detroit is a ghost town.  People work downtown and play elsewhere.  If it makes the Motowners feel any better, downtown Pittsburgh (surprisingly) is even worse.   

I enjoy watching the teams’ practice during the playoffs, as much to view the media as anything.  Autograph hounds would have a field day attacking those in attendance, including such well-known names as Ed Olczyk, Craig Simpson, Larry Murphy, Mike Emrick, Don Cherry, Ron MacLean, Mike Milbury, Elliotte Friedman, and Kelly Hrudey.  My Pittsburgh hotel was a similar hot spot for stargazing, especially with the General Managers meetings going on.  I rode elevators with Brian Burke and Jim Rutherford and visited with Luc Robitaille in the lobby.

Is it just me, or are the majority of Penguins players unrecognizable?  The playoff beards surely do not help, but often a group of players will walk by and I will have no clue who they are.  Does anyone know what Kunitz, Scuderi, Cooke, Eaton, Fedetenko, and Satan look like?  The Wings had fake playoff beards on sale for $5, while the Penguins gave all fans a team t-shirt and a towel upon entering Game Three.

On the drive from Detroit to Pittsburgh, why is it that every radio station that has a clear signal either plays country music or rap?

One of the functions I truly enjoyed at last year’s Final was the Prospects luncheon.  The media was invited to a showcase of the top player’s available for the 2008 Draft at an event hosted by Pierre Maguire.  Bios and video were presented and the players were made available for individual interviews.  I found this to be extremely entertaining and informative and actually wrote several articles from what I learned.  For whatever reason, there was no presentation this year, although five of the top prospects (Tavares, Hedman, Duchene, Kane, B. Schenn) were made available for a brief time period.  I’m sure it was a huge thrill for Duchene and Schenn when Sidney Crosby came over and talked to them for an extended period after Game Three. 

I was able to spend some time with Jeff Schenn, father of Luke and Brayden, for the second year in a row.  Could he be the first parent this side of Henry Staal to be lucky enough to go through this twice?  Schenn Sr. said it would be great if the Leafs drafted Brayden.  “What parent wouldn’t want his kids playing together?”  I also learned that Viktor Hedman has a big birthmark on his face, something that unfortunately will definitely take away from his marketability.

A sampling of the cars in the Penguins player’s parking lot – BMW M6, Lexus SUV, Porsche (2), Aston Martin, Lamborghini, Sentra, Mercedes (2), Escalade, and a Range Rover.  Sentra?

Walking through the bowels of Mellon Arena I witnessed Mark Messier run into Ed Olczyk and give him a big hug.  He then introduced him to his son as “This is Eddie.  He played with me in New York when we won the Cup.”  Eddie asked the junior Messier. how old he was and was told “5 ¾”.

I love the way the Penguins put a giant screen in front of Mellon Arena and let ticketless fans watch the game.  By 1:00 p.m. on the day of Game Three, there were already 50 people camped out on lawn chairs.  Apparently up to 5,000 watched some of the games.  Unfortunately, NBC would not allow their games to be shown, which was an extremely petty move from the peacock network.

Last year I visited Honus Wagner Sporting Goods in downtown Pittsburgh looking for a Marc-Andre Fleury t-shirt.  I was surprised to see the only players they carried were Crosby, Malkin, and Jarkko Ruutu.  I tried again this time around, and found t-shirts in stock for Crosby, Malkin, and Brooks Orpik.  These guys must be anti-goalie or something.  I did buy myself a “Malkin in the Middle” t-shirt though, which featured the Conn Smythe Trophy winner surrounded by #’s 87 and 29.

I also paid a return visit to Pittsburgh’s only downtown card and memorabilia store.  Last year I made note of the ridiculously bad autographs they were passing off as authentic.  This year was no different.  The shopkeeper heard me talking to a cohort and asked which autographs I thought were fake.  I asked him if he really wanted my opinion and he said he did.  I showed him two Sidney Crosby pucks with completely different signatures.  He said he buys them from “the kids that hang out at the arena”, and they would “know better” than to sell him anything that wasn’t real.  He then made note that he didn’t really like the Crosby autographs either, but they were “pretty close”.  Did he just tell me that he knew these autographs were fraudulent, but bought them because they were almost real?

The same gentleman was also selling some legitimate Mario Lemieux and Bryan Trottier autographed photos that were in the same binder as Lemieux and Trots signatures that look like they were scribbled by a six-year old.  If you are going to sell fake autographs, would it not make sense to ensure you did not have legitimate signatures nearby for comparison’s sake?  I was told that James Spence Authentication is brought in twice a year to authenticate all their autographs, and sure enough a JSA sticker accompanied every fake item.  I do not think this topic needs any more discussion. 

The only books on sale in the Penguins souvenir store were a Penguins history book with Lemieux and Crosby on the cover, a book about Herb Brooks, and of course – Dave Hanson’s Slap Shot book – The Man, The Foil, The Legend.  You could also get a Penguins Official Game Puck for only $20, considerably more than the $9 Frozen Pond charges for the same item.  Pittsburgh/Carolina Semi-Final t-shirts were available at 50% off and I’m sure there was huge demand for those.  I tried to buy some souvenirs about forty-five minutes after the conclusion of Game Three, but was told they could not sell me anything because they had already counted the money.  Yeah – that makes sense. 

Game Seven at Joe Louis Arena was a phenomenal experience for me.  I met Marc-Andre Fleury as an eighteen-year old just weeks into his rookie 2003 season.  I make no secret of the fact that he is my favorite player and one of the nicest people I have ever met.  He has an infectious personality and just oozes charisma.  If the Maple Leafs can’t win the Cup, then I cheer for Fleury.

A group of eight of us rented a limousine and headed down for the game.  I was not smart enough to properly requisition tickets through the NHL or either team, so I was stuck buying from scalpers.  The Red Wings were allocated 450 tickets for the final game while the Pens were given 250, but those went quickly.  Upper bowl tickets were selling for $500-$800 a couple of days before, but were well over $1,000 by game time, with some scalpers quoting $3,500 a pair.  At that point I did not care; I just wanted to see the game and I paid through the nose.       

The pre-game atmosphere was amazing, as everyone knew they were going to see the Stanley Cup awarded that night.  Penguins jerseys abounded (including a game-worn Fleury on my back) while dozens of Detroit fans paraded around with mock Cups.  But all the jest was good-natured and everyone was getting along.  These were hockey fans through and through.

We stood by Will Call and saw people try to get in with what turned out to fraudulent e-tickets.  Last I saw, a group of four middle-aged gentlemen were looking for a cop.  Welcome to the internet age. 

We got off the elevator at our suite level and were greeted by none other than the champ – Muhammad Ali.  He was barely recognizable and emotionless while sitting on back of a golf cart.  It’s sad to see what the years have done to this once-vibrant being, but it was a thrill to be in his presence nonetheless.

The building was extremely quiet with Pittsburgh holding a 2-0 lead, but when Jonathan Ericsson scored with six minutes left, the fans came to life.  I was so nervous I was shaking.  It seemed like the last thirty seconds took about twenty-five minutes to play.  Why was Jordan Staal taking the final faceoff when he had only won 4 out of 12 to that point?  But Fleury was stellar and the Penguins won it all. 

I could not believe it was happening, but I actually got teary-eyed when Fleury lifted the Cup.  There is a lot of pride involved in seeing your friends succeed, and that moment gave me a sense of satisfaction different from any I have felt before.  I know that several Frozen Pond friends and customers were feeling the same way. 

We made our way down to ice level where at least 3,000 Penguins fans had gathered behind the net.  The players took turns celebrating with us – Bill Guerin even spraying champagne through the glass.  I saw Fleury hug his parents and his girlfriend and I will always remember the smile on his face, as mine was probably just as large.  I love the fact that families now come onto the ice to celebrate; a tradition born only in the last few years.  Prior to that, most of the celebrating took place in the locker rooms.  Now they are out in the open for all to see.

We stayed at ice level for another half-hour and then made our way to the exits.  Detroit fans were congratulating us the entire time.  I am sure they were disappointed but they remained cordial.  It was a great series and it is too bad only one team could win.

Next year – Leafs vs. Penguins.  Yeah – I know they are both in the same division, but a man can dream.  Now if we can only find a way for the Leafs to win it without Fleury giving up any goals…

In the Fall of 2005, I happened to ask Eddie Shack if anything was being planned to honor the 40^th Anniversary of the Maple Leafs last Cup win.  When he responded in the negative, I made similar calls to Johnny Bower and Bobby Baun, and eventually sat down for a meeting with Ron Ellis.  Soon after, the wheels were put in motion for a tribute dinner and autograph show featuring most members of this historic team.

On March 22, 2007, a gala dinner was held at Toronto’s Metro Convention Centre.  There were over 860 patrons in attendance, including 20 Members of the ’67 Leafs and 25 other celebrities.  When all was said and done, $171,000 was raised for the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the Leafs Fund.

This event was well covered in the press at the time and I am not looking to retell a story that a lot of you already know.  But two years have passed since this great night and I thought it might be fun to share some of the “behind the scenes” happenings that have never found their way into print.

Firstly, you learn a lot from running an event like this, such as who your true friends are.  I was amazed at the support we received.  Several people from whom I had zero expectations stepped up and bought tickets or donated merchandise.  Friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and customers all lent their support in various ways.  In general, I was extremely proud of those I surround myself with.     

The Good

- We had a great committee, most of whom worked their asses off to ensure a successful evening.  These people put in 13+ months of planning and their efforts showed in the end result.  Ron Ellis, Larry Jeffrey, Brian Conacher, and Bobby Baun were key in getting the other players on board.

- I managed to talk Aut Erickson into attending.  Erickson played one game in his entire Leafs career, and it was in the ’67 playoffs.  Hence, he is in the team picture and is one of the more difficult autographs on the team to obtain.  He was almost impossible to track down, and came in from eastern California for the event. 

Milan Marcetta played three games in his Leafs career and is also in the team photo.  Emphysema prevented him from flying in from B.C., but he did sign all the team-autographed lithographs that we gave out to the guests.

- Jeri Horton-Joyce was in attendance representing her father, while five-year-old  Terrance Gordon Sawchuk III was there representing his grandfather.  Both can be seen in the reunion photo taken at the event.

- We made some members of this team very happy.  Each of John Brenneman, Wayne Carleton, Kent Douglas, and Brit Selby were members of the ’67 Leafs, but did not participate in any playoff games or play enough regular season games to get their names on the Cup or their images onto the team photo.  We invited them nonetheless, and it was the first time they had ever taken part in a team event such as this one.  Brit Selby’s family told me he was thrilled to be a part of it and nervously anticipated the evening for months.     

- When Jimmy Holmstrom, the current Leafs organist, heard that former Leafs organist Ralph Fraser was going to be in attendance, he asked if he could come meet him.  We left a special pass and Holmstrom got to spend time with his hero.

- Phil Pritchard is a good friend to have.  When I first spoke to the NHL about the availability of the Stanley Cup, they told me the laborious process I would have to go through to requisition it.  We would have to start with the League office, have to prove it was for a charity event, check on the availability, get permission from the proper departments, etc.  It was going to be a long, drawn-out procedure. 

My next call was to Pritchard, curator of the Hall of Fame.  He asked me to confirm the date, and then said, “Okay – it’s booked for you.”  Thanks Phil.

- As with any event, we had a number of last-minute celebrity cancellations.  Since we had promised every corporate table would have a luminary sitting with them, we had to scramble.  Dan Shulman, Tony Gabriel, Sandra Post, and Damon Allen all agreed to attend within the last 48 hours.

- The evening itself was beyond phenomenal and wildly exceeded even our most optimistic expectations.  Some email comments I received after the fact included, “I have never been to such an amazing event like this in my life and probably never will”, and “It was better than sex”.

- Every player I asked to donate their time for a meet and greet came through for us.  Lecavalier, Thornton, Fleury, Roy, Shack, Bower, Jagr, Mahovlich, Howe, and probably a few others that I can’t think of.  As a result, our auction revenue was mind-boggling.  Those in attendance were willing to spend and we appreciate them for it.

- Mike Palmateer called me after the fact to say he was proud of me and that I created history.  That was pretty cool.

The Bad

- I spoke to Mike Walton six months before the event and he confirmed he would attend.  Over the next several months, I left 15-20 messages for him and never received a return call.  As the dinner drew near, I had no idea whether or not he would be attending.

I had a reporter friend contact him a few days before the dinner, and Walton explained that he “thought he might be on vacation that day so he didn’t want to commit to attending.”  Basically, Walton was in Toronto the evening of March 22, 2007, but decided not to attend (with his ex-teammates) a charity fundraiser that he had already committed to. 

I have learned a lot more about Walton in the meantime, but do not deem it fit to print here.  Needless to say, I am not a big Mike Walton fan and he will not be invited to appear at Frozen Pond anytime soon.

- There were two minor celebrities I invited to the dinner and autograph show as a favor to one of the players.  One of the two arrived at the facility and asked for more money, even though I had a signed contract in my possession.  The other submitted an expense receipt for a sandwich he bought the day before the dinner.  This event could have easily proceeded without either of these gentlemen in attendance.  It is obvious that no good deed goes unpunished.

- We invited Michael Burgess, best known for his role in Les Miserables, to sing the National Anthem and he confirmed his attendance on no less than four separate occasions.  We could not find him the week of the event and left several frantic messages to call as soon as possible.  We were finally greeted with a return call that went something like, “Oh – is the dinner this week?  I am in Winnipeg.  Tell you what – if you pay me more than I’m making here and pick up my flight, I will make sure I am back in time.”  Needless to say, Michael Burgess did not sing “O Canada” at the dinner.

- Some potential attendees were turned off by our $250 minimum price ticket fee, but I don’t think people realize the costs involved with undertaking a high-profile event are quite prohibitive.  We decided to hold the dinner at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, located at the base of the C.N. Tower, right between the Air Canada Centre and the Roger Centre.  Dinner costs came to over $88 a person.  Add in drinks and taxes and we were in the $125-$130 range.  This was just for food.  Sound, lighting, electrical, a nurse, and garbage removal were all additional.  If a patron did not show; we still had to pay for their meal.  The above are just the facility costs.  I haven’t even mentioned advertising, centerpieces, travel, hotel, gifts, etc.

- I like to think that I am somewhat well connected, but getting the appropriate permissions from the National Hockey League and the Toronto Maple Leafs was time-consuming and painful.  It really should be much easier to raise money for charity.

- Due to various personal and business reasons, each of Joe Bowen, Andy Bathgate, Phil Esposito, and Allan Stanley were forced to cancel their appearances at the last minute.

- A family became violently ill the next day and was convinced they contracted the Norwalk Virus at the dinner (they didn’t).  Executives at the Convention Centre assured me they take reports like this extremely seriously and there would be a thorough investigation.  I never heard from them again.  

The Ugly

- Believe it or not, we had someone con us out of a $7,500 table.  A gentleman called two days before the event to purchase the table and had the tickets couriered to a downtown lawyer’s office.  He then never paid his bill.   

After doing some research, we found this gentleman was a professional con artist and had been pulling this trick on charity events for at least ten years.  He had nothing to do with the downtown law firm and just showed up at their door the next morning asking if an envelope had been delivered for him.  We contacted the local police division and they deemed it unworthy of investigating.  It takes a unique kind of individual to make a living of defrauding charities. 

- We received and turned down a media request from the 1970’s editor of the Toronto Maple Leafs game program.  Having him there would not earn any extra money for the charity, so it did not make sense to give him a free meal.  Nonetheless, this gentleman snuck in and helped himself to a complimentary dinner, as well as multiple gifts that did not belong to him.  I left a REALLY nasty message on his voice mail.  Again, what kind of person willingly defrauds a charity?  Was his cheapskate free enjoyment really more important than making a wish come true for a terminally ill child?

- Our sound, lighting and video guys did a very poor job, starting with not showing up for the trial run a few days before the event, and then not having a video monitor that was viewable by our head table guests at the dinner itself.  Post-dinner, I made a list of 14 things that I was unhappy with, but never received any kind of return correspondence.  I eventually offered to split the $8,000 that was remaining on a $15,000 invoice, and was turned down.  So they ended up with nothing. 

- Some people just don’t think of the big picture.  I asked one of my suppliers for an auction donation and was rudely greeted with “I don’t donate”.  I have not bought anything from this supplier since.  Just think, a donation of a $100 item that was sitting gathering dust would have resulted in the continuation of $5,000-$10,000 in annual sales to us. 

 Fun Facts

- Invited guests included die-hard Leafs fans Mike Myers, Prime Minister Stephen Harper (I handed an invitation directly to his aide), Gordon Lightfoot (who said he would perform for $15,000 but did not respond to an invitation to appear as a guest) and poker great Daniel Negreanu, who really wanted to attend but could not work the date into his schedule.

- At one point, we considered having The Monkees perform at the event, the reason being they performed at Maple Leaf Gardens just before the start of the 1967 playoffs.  Not to mention the fact that I’m a big fan and really wanted to hear Davy Jones sing “Daydream Believer”.

- I sat George Armstrong’s son down about a year before the event and explained the entire concept. He told me, “It sounds like a great event, I’m sure you’ll make a ton of money, and I can guarantee you my father will not be attending.”

- I was repeatedly asked what was in this for me.  The day after the dinner, I received an email from the provincial director of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.  It stated, “…thank you for a truly memorable evening and the generosity you have shown toward our foundation.  The contribution from last night will fund over 20 wishes and will change the lives of those children and families forever.”

Tears streamed down my face as I read this at 2:30 a.m. the next morning.  That is what was in it for me.

Colleen Howe ruffled more than a few feathers in her lifetime. 

She was the outspoken business manager of the most prominent family in the history of the sport.  She was fiercely protective of her husband and sons and often ventured into territory where women were not welcome.  She was such an argumentative negotiator that some had given her the nickname “Dragon Lady”.

She set the groundwork for wives in professional sports, handling all the back-end dealings and letting her husband concentrate on playing hockey.  She negotiated contracts, planned itineraries, and processed fan mail.  She arranged plane tickets and booked hotels for non-team travel.  She paid the bills and tucked the kids in at night while daddy was out making a living.

She was Gordie Howe’s agent, his dietician, and his counselor.  Most importantly – she was his inspiration.

She was also an award-winning video producer, sold life insurance, ran for political office in Connecticut, owned a travel agency, an Amway distributorship, and bred cattle and llamas.

I did not know this Colleen Howe.

The Colleen Howe I became friendly with in the mid-1990’s was a kind, soft-spoken, charitable woman who had taken a liking to a young memorabilia dealer that started spending a lot of money with her company, Power Play International Inc.  She was a young senior citizen who loved telling me stories about playing “hard to get” when Gordie was courting her and asking my thoughts on the future of the autograph industry.

In 1997, The Howe’s treated me to a vacation in Sarasota, Florida, never once letting me reach into my pocket to pay for anything.  I ate with them three meals a day and learned the inner-workings behind hockey’s first family.  We went for long walks on the beach searching for seashells that Gordie enjoyed gifting to children on the hike back.  The three of us threw a softball around and spent a lot of time just hanging out in the sun.  During this time I was able to learn what good people they really were.

Colleen was excited about the success of their new book and all the money it was mustering for charitable causes.  “And…Howe!” ended up selling more than135,000 copies and raising over $1 million for The Howe Foundation.  Colleen’s great love for people and especially children gave her the vision to create a foundation that would generate money for kids of all ages in need.  Her mission was to improve the quality of life through developing programs for children in physical or psychological crisis. 

I was a guest in their house in the affluent Bloomfield Hills suburb of Detroit.  I will always remember the tour given to me by Mr. and Mrs. Hockey.  Whenever I spoke to Gordie on the phone, Colleen would grab the receiver and ask what was new in my love life.  By this time she was no longer a business partner; she was a friend.

Colleen and Gordie were invited guests to the Grand Opening of our new store in June of 2000.  They came on their own dime and proceeded to sign autographs and pose for photos with everyone that asked.  In my speech, I referred to the Howe’s as my surrogate grandparents and thanked them for all their contributions to the success of Frozen Pond.  Gordie was visibly moved when I presented him with a “Mr. Hockey” license plate that once had belonged to the legendary Eddie Shore, and Colleen could not thank me enough for my kindness.  I remember Gordie would not pose for pictures with the Toronto Argonaut cheerleaders that were on hand for fear that Colleen would get mad at him.  J

I first noticed all was not well with Colleen at the 2002 National Sports Collectors Convention in Chicago.  She was becoming forgetful and I was asked not to leave her alone.  I was not given any information as to her health at that time, but it was obvious something was not right.  This ended up being the last time I ever saw or spoke to Colleen.

Eventually the Howe family went public with her medical condition.  Pick’s Disease is a rare form of dementia characterized by a slowly progressive deterioration of social skills and changes in personality leading to impairment of intellect, memory, and language.  

I remember Gordie telling me that eventually all she cared about was their dog, a teacup poodle named Rocket, and she barely recognized him anymore.  She had not spoken in over three years and her quality of life had deteriorated rapidly.  She required constant care and had at least three nurses and Gordie watching her round-the-clock.

Still, Gordie felt a sense of fulfillment in taking care of Colleen.  After all she had done for him; it was nice that he could now be there for her.  Occasionally she would squeeze his hand when he tucked her into bed at night and that would bring a big smile to his face.

Colleen stopped eating last week and was put on an IV for nourishment.  But her frail veins could not hold the needle and it was eventually decided to let nature take its course.  Still, Gordie was not prepared and has not taken Colleen’s death well.  Several friends and former teammates have called with their support, and the arrival of the Howe’s four children has made things a little easier on the family patriarch.  But a tough week lies ahead.

We will miss you, Mrs. Hockey, and our prayers are with you Gordie and the rest of the Howe family. 

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorial tributes to: The Howe Foundation, 4935 Fernlee, Royal Oak, Mich. 48073 (MrandMrsHockey.com) or The Association for Frontotemporal Dementias, 1616 Walnut, Suite 1100, Philadelphia, Penn. 19103 (www.ftd-picks.org).

As the trade deadline approaches, I thought I would share my 5-year plan to make the Toronto Maple Leafs into Stanley Cup champions.  Now I haven’t scouted out the parade route just yet, but I have started shopping for quantity discounts on streamers and confetti.

As a long-suffering fan of the Blue and White, I am sick of always being on the buying end of one-sided trade deadline deals.  I hated giving up Alyn McCauley, Brad Boyes and a 1^st rounder for Owen Nolan in 2003.  I have no clue why we gave up two prospects and a 1^st and 2^nd rounder for an aging Brian Leetch in 2004, especially since Leetch’s Leaf career lasted a grand total of fifteen regular-season games.  I am also sick of the team throwing away draft picks for washed-up players.  How many years in a row are we going to trade away 1^st-3rd round picks?

Yet when the Leafs are sellers, we don’t seem to get anything in return.  Does the team have anything at all to show for missing the playoffs the past 3 seasons?  Nada, and when we do trade a player of quality (McCabe), we are forced to take a large salary in return (Mike Van Ryn).  I for one have had enough.

Here is what we have to do:

- STOP WINNING.  The team is not going to make the playoffs, so the goal right now should be to finish as low in the standings as possible in order to get a high lottery pick and a better chance at John Tavares. 

Since no professional player (with the exception of Vince Carter) plays to lose, Brian Burke will have to get creative.  This will entail playing Justin Pogge more.  While the kid may turn out to be a solid NHL goalie, he is not there yet.  The more Pogge plays, the better chance the Leafs lose.  Same with Curtis Joseph for that matter.

- Trade Tomas Kaberle.  Yes, he’s a solid, puck-moving defenseman and the best player on the team.  But he’s affordable, and look what Tampa Bay got in trade for Dan Boyle this past July; an NHL defenseman (Matt Carle), a top prospect (Ty Wishart), and 1^st and 4^th round draft picks.  If the Leafs can make a similar trade, they should jump at the opportunity.  This is how you rebuild.

- Trade Pavel Kubina.  Please see above.  Besides, if the Leafs defensive core is so strong that they have a player in the minors (Staffan Kronwall) that gets claimed at the first available opportunity by a much better club (Washington), obviously they are dealing from a position of strength.  Kubina is marketable and we should be able to get something useful for him.

- Trade Jason Blake.  He’s hot and he makes a ton of money.  Get what you can for him, since he is not going to contribute to the long-term success of the club.  A 2^nd rounder would suffice.  We have to re-stock the cupboards somehow, and I would rather see the money saved on his salary going towards someone much younger.

- Trade Nik Antropov.  This one is a no-brainer.  He is a free agent and I have never been a fan.  He should be worthy of a top-prospect or a first-rounder.

- Trade Dominic Moore.  He wasn’t interested in doing an autograph session for us, so get rid of the bum.    Besides, he was a waiver claim, so anything we get for him would be gravy.

- Trade for some salary – right now.  We are well under the cap and should be using that to our advantage.  There are several teams looking for deadline help that are on the cusp of the salary cap, and the Leafs should be able to take advantage of that situation.

The Flyers need to shed some salary to activate Briere.  Sure, we’ll take Randy Jones and his $2.75 million salary, but you also have to throw in Ryan Parent or Luca Sbisa.  Or Claude Giroux or a draft pick.  The same with the Blackhawks.  If you want us to take Dustin Byfuglien’s $3 million salary off your hands, it will cost you Kyle Beach.  The Leafs have money, so why not buy some players?

- Stop trading away youth and draft picks.  Maybe Alex Steen and Carlo Colaiacovo didn’t have a future with the team, but is Lee Stempniak really the best they could get for them?  Colaiacovo is already on the power play in St. Louis, while Stempniak has not lived up to expectations.

- Sign some GOOD free agents.  Enough of this Niklas Hagman and Jeff Finger and Jason Blake stuff.  Shell out the bucks for the best available players, not the second tier.  The Sedins would look great in Toronto uniforms.  The team already has a relationship with their agent (Claes Elefalk, same representation as Sundin) and the twins would be enormously popular in Toronto.  I’m sure they would love to be reunited with Brian Burke as well.  If the Sedins fall through, than any of Marian Gaborik, Mike Cammalleri, Jay Bouwmeester, Brian Gionta (maybe), and Mike Komisarek would work as well.  You know that Marian Hossa isn’t coming here.

- Get Rick Nash into a Leafs jersey.  He is unrestricted after next season.  He is local and grew up a Leafs fan.  He is exactly what the team needs and should be delivering to their fans – a home grown superstar that is one of the top players in the world today.  This city really needs a player they can cheer for, someone akin to Curtis Joseph or Doug Gilmour.  The only problem is, Nash is an extremely introverted individual and sincerely enjoys the privacy he gets in small-town Columbus.  It would be tough for him to come play in a fishbowl, but if there’s a place he’ll do it, it’s where all his family and buddies are.

When all is said and done, the team will have a solid young lineup of Nash, the Sedins, Ponikarovsky, Grabovski, Kulemin, Mitchell, maybe Stempniak, Stajan, Frogren, Tlusty, Pogge, Schenn, Jeremy Williams, Dale Mitchell, Jimmy Hayes, Chris DiDomenico, some young talent from the above trades, a few other free agent signings, and a big whack of draft picks.  It’s not exactly the 2008-09 Red Wings, but it sure as heck is a lot better than what they have going for them now.

Go Leafs Go!!!

I heard an interesting trade rumor the other day that everyone shouldn’t be so quick to pass off. 

The Leafs #1 pick in 2009 and Luke Schenn to the Islanders for the Isles #1 pick in 2009 and Rick DiPietro.

The Islanders pick will probably turn out to be John Tavares who would be perfect in Toronto as a local boy everyone can cheer for.  The Leafs would also be able to afford DiPietro’s ridiculous salary and get a quality starting goalie in exchange.  The Islanders would be able to shed a contract they will never admit was a mistake in the first place and would get two quality players in return.

As a Leafs fan, I would do it in a second, conditional on the Leafs keeping their own draft pick if they win the lottery.  I don’t know if Islanders fans would be as excited though.

Curtis Joseph did admit to some of his teammates that he did have a tryst over the summer with the future Mrs. Borenstein – Shania Twain.  CuJo is my new favorite player.

What are the chances this conversation preceded the Rangers waiver claim for Mark Bell earlier this week?

(ring, ring)

Brian Burke – “Hello”

Glen Sather – “Burkie – Slats here.  If you put Bell on recallable waivers, we will claim him and pay half his remaining salary.  Sound fair?”

(THUD)

Sather – “What was that?”

Burke – “Sorry – just me fainting.  Why yes that sounds fa…  Errrr – I dunno Slats.  Bell is a big part of our future and I’d hate to give him away for nothing.”

Sather – “What are you talking about?  He’s buried in the minors and I just offered to save you half a million dollars.”

Burke – “You know this franchise doesn’t care about the money.  We’ll just raise ticket prices some more.”

Sather – “You know - Kevin Lowe is right about you.  You’re a real @#%&$.  Think about it and get back to me.  (slam phone)

(ring, ring)

Burke – “Gretz – Burkie here.  How’s Janet?  Good to hear.  Of course I miss the weather, but my wife needed the work.  Hey – I think I have the missing piece to your playoff puzzle.  Mark Bell – great young kid.  A future superstar.  Yeah – he’s put all that behind him.  I don’t really want to move him but I think he deserves a shot at the playoffs.  I’m only concerned about his well being.  You know – I think if you give me Turris and a first-rounder, we can make it work.  I just have to run it by Peddie, Tanenbaum, Colangelo, and Carlton the Bear.  Hello?  Hello?  (grumble)

(ring, ring)

Burke – “Hey Slats – is that offer still good?” 

This blogging stuff is not as easy as it seems.  You would think one could write whatever they wanted, but it’s not always as simple as that.  Believe it or not, I have had to send four different blogs to my lawyer before they were made available on our website.  That is the way things have to happen in today’s litigious society.

On December 10, 2008, I posted the tale of Howe v. Ex-Managers, telling the story about the settlement of Gordie Howe’s lawsuit against the men who used to represent him.  I knew a lot more about this issue, but was prevented from writing it due to possible legal repercussions down the road.

Luckily Charlie Gillis, a writer for Maclean’s magazine (Canada’s version of Newsweek) read my blog and took an interest in it.  While I am nothing more than a hack, Griffin is a true journalist.  He researched and wrote a thorough story that spelled out all the facts of the case.  He went through all the court documents and interviewed everyone there was to interview.  He basically wrote the story that I wanted to, albeit much more eloquently.

Gillis divulged that Del Reddy is a part owner in Immortal Investments Publishing, and allegedly funneled a huge amount of revenue earned by Gordie Howe’s company into one owned by Reddy and his father.  How Reddy could do this to a man he repeatedly called “family” is beyond me.  Colleen Howe gave him his big break in life, and this is the way Reddy repaid her?  If the accusations are true, I am still at a loss to explain why the police did not get involved and why charges were not laid. 

Here is a story for all those Don Cherry haters out there.  A few months ago, Don personalized a DVD for a friend of a friend who is in the military and stationed in Afghanistan.  Cherry told me at the time that if I ever need something for a member of the armed forces, he would be there for me.

Fast forward a couple of months and I met a woman at the “Tribute to the Aud” auction in Buffalo.  She told me that her son had been buying merchandise from Frozen Pond for years and it was always sent to her house since he was stationed overseas.  I asked if her son was a Don Cherry fan and she ecstatically replied “more than I would ever believe.” 

The next time I was at Cherry’s house, he put together a package for me to send to this soldier.  Included were a personally autographed book, poster, DVD, t-shirt, and Molson Bubba beer can that included the notation, “Drunk by Don”.  All items were inscribed with “We are proud of you”.  This guy was speechless when he received the package.  It helped cheer him up as well, because his mother (that I had met) had passed away a week earlier.  He sent me a very nice letter explaining how his mother always bragged about him being in the military, and how she was still coming through for him even after she was gone.

So – who were the 28 educated baseball writers that did not think Rickey Henderson was deserving of enshrinement into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and how do we take away their right to vote?  Did they not look at his statistics?  Is being the career leader in runs and stolen bases, among other categories, not worthy of Hall Induction?  How about 3,055 hits and 297 homers and 1,115 RBI from the leadoff position?  Does that still make him unworthy?    

Tom Seaver holds the record by being named on 98.8% of ballots to gain entry into the Hall.  That is impressive, but it still means that five writers did not think he belonged in the Hall.  In recent history, Cal Ripken was not named on 8 ballots, and Wade Boggs was omitted from 42.  In 1999, six people did not think Nolan Ryan belonged, and nine did not check the box next to George Brett’s name.  Multiple voters also deemed Mike Schmidt, Steve Carlton, Reggie Jackson, and Johnny Bench unsuitable for enshrinement.  There is definitely something wrong there.

I was not at all happy with the player selection for this year’s NHL All-Star Game.  Keith Tkachuk gets to go but Brad Boyes does not?  Not only did Boyes receive 3X the votes of his St. Louis teammate, but he is blowing Tkachuk away on the ice as well.  Is this an old-timers game or a matchup of the best players in the sport today?  I think that answer is obvious.

While watching the hockey highlights last week on TSN, the anchor showed Islanders goaltender Joey MacDonald stretch for a save and come up lame.  He then remarked that “MacDonald had to leave the game due to a stroined grain.”  Poor grain!!!

I am off to Montreal for the All-Star celebrations.  I will give a full report upon my return.

Someone had to watch it, so it may as well have been me.

Okay – firstly, I can not be completely objective when I talk about something concerning The Hanson Brothers.  I had a personal and business relationship with them that goes back a number of years and did not end well.  Let me start at the beginning.

I first met the Hansons at breakfast in a Toronto hotel in the mid-1990’s.  When I first walked in, I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever seen.  I mean – here were the Hanson Brothers – eating breakfast.  These guys were my heroes and two of them looked exactly the same as they did in the movie.  I was in my mid-20’s and was hanging out with the stars of Slap Shot.  How cool was that?

I met the boys through their manager.  I had been quoted in an article in The Hockey News as saying that one of my best selling products was a photo signed by The Hanson Brothers.  Their manager called me directly and asked if I wanted to do some business.  Shortly thereafter, I was part of the Hanson Brothers enterprise.  I developed a line of merchandise, including Chiefs jerseys and caps, t-shirts, pucks, pins, etc.  I started promoting them in my catalog and booking appearances on their behalf.  The guys were a lot of fun.  They were fabulous entertainers, great with people, and had no trace of ego.  They also opened a lot of doors for myself and Frozen Pond.

The Buffalo Sabres booked them for an appearance and Lindy Ruff asked if they could come into the dressing room and give a pre-game pep talk.  The Hansons had all the players sitting in a semi-circle on the floor and told them the other team “called them names” and the only way to retaliate was by playing “old time hockey”.  Pat LaFontaine asked if he could get his picture taken with them, then gave me his address where to send it.  That’s where Pat and I became friends.  Similar occurrences happened in a number of other cities, as just about everyone wanted a piece of The Hanson Brothers.  Budweiser stepped up to the plate and made them spokesmen for their new Bud Ice beer, and the Hanson phenomena was in full swing.

There was a big problem though.  Their manager was a con man.  He didn’t pay his bills, didn’t pay the Hansons, and didn’t pay me.  He booked the Hansons to appear at his brother-in-laws’ restaurant, and they no-showed.  He was a Canadian who lived and worked illegally in the U.S., and eventually the Brothers decided they had had enough.  Steve Carlson (#17) asked me to be their agent. 

I told Steve I did not have the time nor the ability to give the fiduciary responsibility of an agent, but I would continue to do bookings on their behalf.  This went on for a number of years, and I never once took a commission on my end.  Whatever appearance fee was arranged was divided by three and each guy was given a check.  We did make money selling merchandise at events, and I also did very well selling Hanson Brother autographs, which I purchased from them on a regular basis.

The Hansons though, were far from easy to work with.  Dave Hanson (#16) was an extremely difficult individual.  He would matter-of-factly cancel appearances the day before he was set to appear.  I would plead with him that these promoters had paid long before and had been advertising their appearance for months, but Dave would just tell me that I can’t tell him what to do and he would not show up.  The promoter would be on the hook for his flight as well.  This got to be so routine that I just started booking two of the three Hansons to appear, and would suggest that the team have a promotion whereas a lucky fan would win the right to be the third Hanson Brother and perform on ice with them.  I mean – if you were only able to book Moe and Curly for an appearance during the Stooges heyday, would anyone really care if Larry was unable to attend?  Eventually Dave Hanson promised to behave and I started booking all three players again.

But they were still troublesome to work with.  I used to say that “You guys are responsible for 2% of my revenue and 98% of my grief.”  Soon – Steve Carlson asked if he could borrow money to start a new life in Wisconsin.  I even went to his wedding party.  But these nuptials were the beginning of the end of my relationship with the Hansons.  Steve’s wife thought of herself as an intellectual when there couldn’t be anything further from the truth.  Eventually, when Steve talked to me, I noticed the tone in his voice was very different; a lot more abrupt and not nearly as friendly.  After all, Steve had been my buddy for a number of years now.  I would ask him what was wrong and he would always reply that nothing was.  I would ask him if he noticed a deterioration in our relationship and he would respond he did not.

Eventually, my phone calls stopped getting returned and I learned that Steve’s wife had now taken over their management.  There was no discussion, no “thanks for your efforts”, and no goodbyes.  Just unreturned phone calls from all three Hansons.  Talk about professional.

A short time later, I was told that the Hansons had put up their own website to promote appearances and sell merchandise.  On the FAQ section of the site was a supposed quote from a website that did not even exist, stating that they had never signed autographs before and everything circulating on the aftermarket was fake.  I called and Steve’s wife (finally) picked up the phone.  After I berated her to the point of tears, she passed the phone off to Steve.  I questioned how he could take tens of thousands of autograph dollars from me over a number of years, and then state publically he had never signed autographs.  I had hundreds of pictures from dozens of locations of the Hansons doing just that.

Believe it or not, Steve’s response was that he had just read a news story on Operation Bullpen which stated findings from the FBI that up to 90% of autographs circulating the sports collectibles marketplace were fake.  He then concluded that meant 90% of his autographs that I sold were fake too.  Yes – because of this report, largely based on the sale of vintage Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle autographs and with no mention of hockey whatsoever, Steve Carlson was accusing me of selling fake Hanson Brothers autographs.  I almost got a pain in my side from laughing so hard.  My Gordie Howe and Wayne Gretzky and Patrick Roy autographs were legitimate, but I was forging Steve Carlson signatures???  The funny thing is that I bought autographs from them every time I saw them, whether I needed stock or not.  They were a good investment (at the time), they didn’t cost a lot, and at least two of the three really needed the money.  I was sure treated fairly in exchange, wasn’t I?

The Hansons did not just burn a bridge with me though.  They also disrespected their biggest fans and supporters.  Steve’s wife once ordered me to stop selling merchandise to a Hanson Brothers fan site just because “there’s something about him I don’t like.”  Another fan site and their biggest supporter were told not to make any further contact because of an unsolicited quote posted on the site’s chat room, one that was quickly removed.  Under the guidance of Steve Carlson’s wife, the Hanson Brothers had alienated everyone that had supported them over the previous decade.  It seemed no one was allowed to be part of the Hanson Brothers promotion team, except for them.  That attitude continues to this day.

I still receive emails asking why Steve’s wife won’t return phone calls or emails from people looking to book them for an appearance.  Does this sound like the actions of an intelligent person?  Is making money now a bad thing?

Yet, they continue to lie.  In interviews, Steve Carlson greatly exaggerates the number of appearance requests they receive annually, in fact giving two entirely different numbers in interviews printed only weeks apart.  Recently, the We’re on the Road section of their website had an upcoming appearance listed for April/2008.  Does that sound like someone that gets 285-385 appearance requests per year?  To put things into perspective, we were doing 25-30 appearances a year during their heyday, so the numbers they are throwing around now are truly fictional.  Dave Hanson has just released an autobiography and is on a book tour and I honestly hope it does very well.  Apparently he no longer is being represented by Steve’s wife and must be booked on his own for any potential appearance.  But good luck getting autographs from them, as they don’t sign in quantity and there have been few available in the marketplace for a number of years.  Who exactly are they hurting with this attitude?  They had a good thing going for a number of years; I wonder what made them change their attitude (to their own detriment) so radically.  Their following is way down, as is their income, and they have turned their biggest fans into sworn enemies.

Oh – and I never did receive that money back from Steve Carlson.  When I asked about it in that last phone call, I was hung up on.

——————————————————-

Which brings us to the review for Slap Shot 3 – The Junior League.  The key here is the word “Junior”.  This is nothing more than a kid’s movie, trying to capitalize on the name Slap Shot and The Hanson Brothers, as well as guest starts Doug Gilmour and Mark Messier.  It played like a ninety-minute version of Saved by the Bell, complete with a weak plot, poor dialogue, tons of loose ends, an obvious conclusion, and some horrible acting.  The first hour almost put me to sleep.  I was not inspired, I felt no association with the characters, and except for one scene, I did not so much as chuckle.  The Hansons are starting to look old as well. 

The championship game had literally every classic line and scene from the original movie worked into it, with obvious results.  How many times do we need to see a member of the Chiefs skate by the visiting bench with his stick out, and how obvious was it that they were going to refrain and then get back to playing “Old Time Hockey”?  If other sequels could take the basic premise and continue to be successful, why could this one not?  They even stole from another movie, with the winning goal coming on a completely “Youngblood-esque” penalty shot.  I give it two thumbs down, zero stars out of four, and as rotten a tomato as I can possibly give.

But the movie was not meant for me, it is meant for children.  And I’m not objective anyways, so who cares what I have to say?